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[27 Apr 2004|04:55pm]
I'm done with this livejournal.

MY NEW ONE IS: int0_0blivion

All "rewduhbegguh" friends will be added. <3
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[27 Apr 2004|12:50pm]
Should be... [uh huh]

Last night, I loved it. Night before, eh...okay. Tonight???

OH YEA...I GOT PULLED OVER THIS MORNING AT 2am COMING HOME ON BLOSSOM HILL! IT WAS GREAT!!!!! And I'm so serious. The cop apologized and felt bad for pulling me over b/c he thought that I was causing 'ruckus' on the road but it was really a black car with a GUY in it...not me. HAHAH. I thought it was funny.


JESSE: Why'd you call me at 4am??
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[25 Apr 2004|02:07pm]
[ mood | happy ]

My weekend:

Spent with:
-Kelley, Jamie, Lauren, Jenessa, Chris, Charlie, Adam, Krystal, Trent, Alex, Kyle, Daniel, Sam-antha, Robbie, Vera, Sally, Brian, Shawn, Marie, Kendra, Crystal, Meghan, and 8oz friend (that turned into a 12oz friend on Friday).

Spent at:
-Oakland with Lauren and Jenessa (we were on EVERY 80). :)
-Chris' house.
-Trent's house.
-Charlie's house.

-Did Jamies 21/whore makeup.
-Hung out with really awesome people.
-Watched Kill Bill at Trents.
-Saw Sarah (and mini version).

In the end, my weekend was fabulous.
Hope everyones weekend was the same. <3


[22 Apr 2004|04:42pm]


Some people are really sick...Collapse )

I hope everyone is doing okay today. Especially Sarah. <3

[22 Apr 2004|02:11pm]
awwww Tiffany.

Sarah, I hope you are able to smile soon.
I've been in your position before, it's not fun at all.
I'm here for you (along with a billion other people), if you need to talk.

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[22 Apr 2004|01:16am]
Alright, I've probably changed this entry about 4 or 5 times.

I feel better now. All I needed was a talk with Lauren, earlier in the evening, then a drunken talk with Chris and Lauren on the way back to Chris'. I'm so happy that Lauren and Chris are together, (minus the "schmoopy" every 5 seconds) it's great.

I wish I knew when, but I honestly don't know.

I also talked to Jenessa before leaving tonight. It was good. I miss her.

I'm tired.

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[21 Apr 2004|12:35am]
I've been listening to peoples opinions from every which way.
I've decided that I can only listen to my own.

Awkward silence.

Saturday is much needed.

What lies ahead?
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[20 Apr 2004|04:21pm]
[ mood | thankful ]

Lately I've been missing a lot of people. I don't really know why. The people I've been missing are people I haven't even seen in months. Weird.

"Dude, I like her"
"You can still like her with your penis inside her"

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball"

"God, I just want to bang hot chicks"

Hahahah. Last night I hung out with Lauren and Jamie. We saw Girl Next Door. It was a good movie but it felt like it was longer then it really was. I loved it though. After the movie, Jamie went home then Lauren and I went over to Charlies. Charlie and Chris were there then after a while Adam and Krystal came. A debate occured but for 80% of it, I zoned out. It was great, I never knew I could zone out. :) Well, after issues and things happened. I ended up leaving at 1am. Lauren and I talked about our problems and then I went home.

Cheer up Jesse.
Lauren, I love you.
Kelley, I hope that you are having a good week back at school.
Sarah, if you ever need to talk about the things that have been going on, I'm here.
I hope everyone feels better!


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[18 Apr 2004|11:37pm]
[ mood | tired/lalala ]

This weekend was grand.

I worked. Went home at 7. Did hair. Went over to Lauren's. Left for Chris'. Lauren and I went to get gas and water. Came back to Chris'. Went to get his hat from Lauren's. Came back to Chris' and forced Chris, Charlie, Robbie, JD, Kyle and Shawn to come out so we could leave for Helena's. She lives in a maze and LAURENS CAR GOT HIT BY DRUNK KYLE! After we found parking (20 minutes into the maze), we saw Jake and Sam (Pura). Sam left, Jake came with us...I think Kyle and JD left. My 8 oz. friend paid us a visit. I got in touch with my peep Mr. Jose. The night twas fun. After seeing tons of people that I haven't seen in ages, Chris, Lauren, Charlie, Jake, Shawn and myself left for Chris'. We sat around. People got pissed. The night was interesting, and I have a BRUISE! (yea...you know who you are!) Fell asleep sometime after 4 with Charlie and Chris. Woke up at 5am, tripped on the way out. Couldn't see Lauren to say goodbye (she had to get up 4 hours later) so I left for my home. Talked to my mom about the necklace I was wearing (random) and then I passed out.

I woke up at 12 (to the sound of Lauren's text). Got ready for Andy Bailey Andrew Andersons bday. Headed over to PW to wait for Kell-ay and Rich. Went to her casa. Left for my casa. Came back to her casa (wooooah, that's the most spanish I've EVER used!). Left at 5:30pm or something. Kelley, Rich and Myself were in one car. Bailey and Angela were in another. Sarah and Pea-ah-trick were in the last car. We drove to the beach. Walked down the hill. Nearly tripped over the blankets that I volunteered to carry down. We took pictures. Jason and his girlfriend came. Sarah peed. Bailey was a turtle. I touched a dead crab (thought it was real for a SECOND). Grand ol time. The sun went down and we started the fire. We made s'mores and cooked Frank till he turned BLACK...that's hot. Megan, her bf and her friend came. Racist jokes. Micheal Jackson jokes. La La La...we headed back at 10pm. Bailey, Angela, Rich, Kelley and myself went to the Pruneyard then went to Dennys. 'APPLEJUICE' 'BLACK SWEATER' (yeaaa Kell-ay, choo know what I'm tawkin abowt) haha. We went to the parking lot at Pruneyard and had oodles of fun.

Woke up at 7. Woke up at 8. Woke up at 9. FINALLY woke up at 11. Got ready then waited for Jamie and went to Sarahs. The three of us went to the West Coast show at the Convention Center downtown and saw TONS of hair dye and hot naked gay guys! :) Sarah and I were drooling over the Trucco makeup and bought everything for NOTHING!!!! It was awesome! Jamie left at 2. Sarah and I walked around and found Adam's soul mate. We left close to 4. Went to Willow Glen. Got Subway, Kelley joined then went to get a hamster ball. We got back then Rich came with us to meet up with Adam and Sam at Oakridge. I hummed to myself b/c everyone was being downers. DISNEY MUSIC IS AWESOME! THEN...everyone got happy! Well, mostly. We went back to the cars, dropped off Rich. Kelley, Sarah and I went to meet Adam and Sam at the Pruneyard then Sam left. The four of us went to Safeway then Sarahs and watched A Goofy Movie. I fell asleep at the end under the bean bag and then woke up and Kelley, Adam and I left and went to the Pruneyard. (I think). Hm. We went to Sams for a bit and then I got back to Kell-ays and got a ROCKSTAR. YESSSSSSSSSS.

Now, I have to get my lovely 6 hours of sleep (hopefully) so I can get up and actually go to Psych AND Soc tomorrow morning at 7:30. Work after that. Then, not sure. Hrm. MAYBE I'LL DYE MY HAIR AGAIN! I was inspired today!!! :)

PAY DAY is Tuesday/Wednesday. YAY. I'll have money. (Haven't had that in a while...BILLS...PUH!) Hm.


I don't know what's going to happen.
Questionable moments and careless reactions hinder my decision.
I wish my mind could think clearly.

FYI I have pictures from this weekend, and they WILL be posted!
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[15 Apr 2004|01:09am]

Nevermind, noones going to get it.

So, I feel like updating:

I've been hanging out with Kell-ay, Sarah, Adam, Sam and others a lot lately.

The night before last? Was fun. Graveyard. Drive up in Saratoga. Pruneyard parking lot. The view.

Tonight. Started with just Kelley (that's hot). We went back to her house to get a jacket and shoes for me. We ended up meeting up with Sam and Adam. Then went to Marks of Art. Adam got his tattoo, I got touched up. Bailey Andy Andrew Anderson and Angela came by. Krystal came by. Krystal left. Sam and Kelley picked up Sarah. Then after I was finished, we went back to the Pruneyard. Carlos, Daniel and Trent were there. People came. Left. Somewhere in the middle Julie and her friend popped in. Then Julie, her friend, Kelley, Sarah, Adam, Bailey, Angela and myself went to Dennys. Jesse came and we got to talk (it was good to see him not be mopey like he was on the phone). :) Then, Trent and Sam showed up. We stood outside and then we all left. FUUUUUUUN!!! Minus the fact that I'm missing movie night FOR THE SECOND NIGHT IN A ROW! PUH!

doob-lay-vay. : )
pink pajamas, penguins on the bottom. <3<3<3 hahahahhaha
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[12 Apr 2004|01:28pm]
I've decided not to update my livejournal till all is worked out. It's better this way. I'll still read others journals and comment, but as for updating about what's going on in my life...that's going to have to end for now.

I <3 you all.
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[11 Apr 2004|06:03pm]
[ mood | fine. ]

Last night Kell-ay and I hung out when I got off of work. We went to Hobee's with Lauren. Lauren left an hour or so afterwards. Jamie came by and we bumped in her mustang around the pruneyard and campbell and santana row. When we got back to the Pruneyard we ran into other guys bumping. It was fuuuuuunny. At around 1030, Kelley and I left and went to Alex's (after getting lost and ending up in Saratoga). We broke out my 8 oz. shot glass and I surpassed that in 2 minutes. After that, Kelley and I went to the gas station to buy cigarettes and get gas. Then we got back and Adam, Krystal and Danielle showed up. I had a great time. At around 2am, Adam, Krystal, Jake, Danielle, Kelley and I left and went to Dennys and ten minutes later, Kelley dropped Jake and I off at our cars then I went home. I passed out and woke up this morning after only getting 6 hours of sleep. I went to my aunts, felt crappy, watched my 1 1/2 year old cousin find easter eggs and then I passed out for 4 hours. Tonight, I'm probably seeing Kelley. Maybe Lauren, if she feels better. Maybe Rich? Not sure.

Okay. I'm done.

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I've died and gone to Heaven. [09 Apr 2004|05:37pm]
my boss bought a case of ROCKSTAR for work!!
(24 cans of heaven!)
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Because I promised... [07 Apr 2004|10:38pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

For JesseCollapse )

Tonight, I stayed home. It's great. I get to do the things I've been too busy to do: paint nails, watch TV, put a hair mask/face mask on, get to sleep before 1am (hopefully that's true), and relax! Phew.

:) I hope everyone is having a great week! Also, thanks to EVERYONE that commented on my last post, the comments really did make me feel better (and Sam's made me laugh...uh huh! :) haha).

Love you all. <3
Love you Rich. <3<3<3

FRIDAY: I don't care what anyone says, IM SEEING GIRL NEXT DOOR, thats MY PLAN for that night! :) Wooooohooooo. OKay, bye. WAIT! Kelley is freeeeeeee on Friday! YAY! :) I get to see Sarah tomorrow at work for a whole 4 hours! WOOHOO. Jamie and me are having an intellectual talk (I'm serious) tomorrow after work. :)

I think all I really need to cheer me up is reassurance from people (I got that) and a night at home to relax (have that!). I TRULY DO LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!


[07 Apr 2004|12:03am]
[ mood | unaware of my mood. ]

I've shut down.
I don't know who I am anymore.
I wish I knew the answers to the questions I've been asking myself.

Maybe my life would be better if...
(Feel free to complete that sentence)
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[06 Apr 2004|04:20pm]
[ mood | unsure ]

out of it.
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-puts head down- [06 Apr 2004|12:48am]
[ mood | morose ]

Depression: 3. The condition of feeling sad or despondent.

Love: 4. A strong fondness or enthusiasm.

Suicide. [05 Apr 2004|11:36am]
[ mood | amused ]

Suicide occurs more on the 5th of every month with the exception of April, when it’s the 12th.

On the first day of Intro to Psychology, we talked about suicide and attention deficit disorder, great way to start a class. I’m convinced that my teacher is a genius. My Sociology teacher is completely insane, but kind of interesting. She starts off the class by first setting down her brown cup of coffee on the corner of the desk. Then, proceeds to take off her hat to expose her shaved head. She turns quickly to the board, looks down, grabs a piece of white chalk and starts writing, for what seems to be ten minutes. When she realizes that she’s covered every free space left on the chalkboard, she turns to the class and tells everyone to get out that doesn’t belong there. She calls out nine people from the waiting list and the rest are pointed to the door. I so happen to be number four on the list, did I get lucky or what? After kicking out 20 hopefuls, the class dwindles down to only 35. She tells us that she taught prisoners at San Quentin, so if we have any interesting nicknames that we go by, to tell her right away. Her favorite student from the prison was apparently named ‘Big Hog.’ After the class let out, I realized that this quarter is going to be highly interesting and I’m happy about my class choices.

I have today off, therefore I’m getting a lot of stuff done around the house and then I’ll most likely venture out to see Sarah on her break and Lauren sometime today.

That’s all.
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"...you've been saved!" [04 Apr 2004|07:19pm]
The drive back to my hometown of Bakersfield was GRAND compared to the time had in the actual town itself.

I was fooled into believing that I was going to some run-of-the-mill festival, when in actuality...


Friday my mom and I drive down to Bakersfield. She makes me drive after she nearly falls asleep at the wheel (30 minutes into the drive). About 2 1/2 hours into the drive, I pull over into Harris Ranch. I walk around, looking at all the tacky knick-knacks that they have on sale and I come across the refrigerator containing Lost Energy Drinks. I decide to buy 4 (just in case I ended up drinking all 3 that I bought before we left San Jose). I get to the counter to find that, rather then being $2.40 a can, they're only SEVENTY FIVE CENTS!!!!!. OF COURSE, I end up buying 6 for 5 dollars. IT WAS THE BEST PART OF THE TRIP!!!!! So, after getting back on the road, we got to Bakersfield at around 4. We sat around and talked to my cousin David, aunt Debbie and Davids friend Paul (my other cousin David was elsewhere at the time). After a long talk about 'JESUS WOULD GIVE ME MONEY TO GO TO MAGIC MOUNTAIN', David and his friend left to go sell drugs/pick up on young slutty Bakersfield girls/or preach the lords work to poor defensless athiests. After a while, Little David, my mom, Debbie and myself made it to this Cafe and hung around there for a while. I visited Starbucks afterwards, then we ended up going back to the house and watched Intolerable Cruelty. My uncle got home after the 'festival' and we all sat around then I ended up going to bed at around 11.

Saturday morning, we all woke up, got ready and went to RJ's. The waiter was hilarious and told us that he licked the food and took that back after admitting to having two beers before work (got to love HICKTOWN). My older cousin David met up with us and we went across the street to Dewards. Afterwards, David, Mom, Debbie, Darren and myself headed to the festival. NOW...THIS FESTIVAL...LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS GRAND FESTIVAL I ATTENDED:

IT WAS A 'PRAISE THE LORD' TYPE OF FESTIVAL. The Franklin Graham Festival to be exact. There were nearly 25,000 people there, all -puts hands up in the sky- PRAISING THE LORD. After about an hour of being there, my right eye starts burning. Then after watching Jars Of Clay perform, I start to go insane. I feel like shit, I can't see out of my right eye and I'm shaking. SO, either I started to get sick OR I was getting tortured by God b/c I seriously didn't want to be there. I left, shortly after, and sat in my aunts truck. I called Rich (athiest) and Jamie (christian) and felt terrible about leaving. So I called my mother and she came and got me out of the truck after I was bawling for an hour straight. I CANT STAND RELIGION! I really can't. There was protestors everywhere outside and rival churches. When we all got into the car, the conversation was interesting (and full of debate). Well, apparently my cousin David is homophobic and I asked him if his best friend Paul (whom he's known for 10 years) ended up coming out of the closet, what would he do? OOOOH, David said he wouldn't be his friend b/c that was WRONG. I wanted to hit him. My uncle chimed in and said that if God accepted same sex couples, then he would have put it in the bible as an okay thing rather then a sin. We changed the subject to sex with goats??? Then to blondes?

moving on...

We went to the Crystal Palace afterwards and had a grand time. We got back to the house and talked till 1 in the morning. This morning we all talked about Jesus, and I nearly went insane b/c they were making fun of me for leaving the festival and saying I'm going to burn in Hell. I started to cry so they'd feel bad (it worked). :) Then after talking for nearly 4 hours, my mom and I left for San Jose. I drove back the whole way (not including the last half hour when my mom decided to wake up and take over) and felt a sense of relief. OH YEA, For Kell-ay: we passed a Llahma farm on the way back. Not to mention the Harris Ranch (there were 300,000 cows on the side of the road JUST WAITING to get killed! oOOOOOOOoh yea. STUNK LIKE FUCKING HELL!

Overall I rate my weekend to be a 6. THE ONLY WAY IN HELL IM GOING BACK TO BAKERSFIELD IS IF I BRING AN ATHIEST OR A GAY GUY. I don't need to feel like shit b/c I haven't been 'SAVED.' FUCK THAT, if I want to read the Bible, I WILL, but not b/c someone is telling me that I'll go to Hell if I don't believe. PUH. IM DONE.

I need a zoloft.
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I have a headache. [02 Apr 2004|01:12am]
3 months

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